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Sofa, So Good-The Tale of an Underappreciated Piece of Furniture

Written by Mr.Jongruk on 3:23 AM

By J. Allen

I am there for you after a long day at work. I am there for you on the weekends, when all you want to do is plop yourself down and let the television wash over you. I am there for you when you rent a DVD to help turn your living room into the most comfortable theater around. I am even there for husbands who are unexpectedly expelled from the comfort of their beds by an angry wife. Iโ��m your sofa, and Iโ��m always there for you. Iโ��m probably the most underappreciated piece of furniture most of you own, yet also the most used. I am as reliable as a best friend and as consistent as the sunrise.

Choosing a new sofa can be as agonizing as choosing a new car. What kind of upholstery do I want? What color? Any special features? Am I going to like it a year from now, how about five years? Once Iโ��m brought home and put in my assigned place, though, Iโ��m all but forgotten. I become a fixture in your living room almost instantaneously, effortlessly blending in with my surroundings like a chameleon. I can eventually become an unofficial member of a family, a step below the dog and cat, but definitely above the goldfish.

I silently and steadfastly endure a ton of abuse. From spills to crumbs to pet hair, and anything else you can imagine, I sit there and take it. Scotch Guard or no, I do my best to repel every wine and soda spill and of course, every leaky diaper. Iโ��m also often vilified for doing nothing more than keeping valuables safe and sound. You accuse me of โ��eatingโ�� items such as earrings, loose change, and, of course, remote controls. This is a definite misnomer as I get plenty of nourishment from the aforementioned food and drink spills. Whatโ��s happening here is Iโ��m simply holding on to these items for you until you need them. Kind of like the safety deposit box you never knew about.

I require no thanks or fanfare for my loyalty and dependability. All I ask is that you try not to sit on my arms and that you please change any diapers on the carpet. You could probably mix in a salad and skip dessert every now and again too. Thatโ��s just me looking out for your health, though. Also, please donโ��t send me away to your teenagerโ��s apartment when youโ��re done with me. I deserve a more dignified retirement than that; Iโ��ll take my chances at the Goodwill.

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